Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
