hotel room ftw
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
