The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
