We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
