Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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