wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
