Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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