then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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