I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
