my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's like iHOP with fire
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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