I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
