well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
