in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
