haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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