I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
