Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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