that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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