We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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