But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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