Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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