Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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