question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
