apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
