She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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