Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
