Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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