is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
