I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
