If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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