Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
