You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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