weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
