Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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