I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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