I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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