I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
