Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
