I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
