carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
