How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
