how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
