coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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