i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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