He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
