Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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