I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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