one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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