Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
