Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
