i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
