Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
